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Articles on Success Matters:

The Difference between Winning and Losing

We all have our experience of that winning feeling and more often than not we have experienced that losing feeling as well. But have we ever wondered why we win some and why we lose some.

It is our very own human nature to be competitive in everything that we do. But most times we get frustrated at not winning because a rival of ours has just got that upper edge. Now you are thinking to yourself, "I will never beat him/her". Sounds all to familiar, right? We are in competition everyday of our lives. It can be a job interview, a promotion appraisal, or it could just be a race to the finishing line. What I like to share with you is a story that happened to me recently that signifies that truth.

A week back on a Monday, I was getting ready to see my son's form teacher to eveluate the academic results of my son for the whole year. My son had just finished his Primary Two exams and the results were out. I checked with my son to see if he felt confident of his results. He was confident in some subjects and not so in others. Still playing the calm parent I am, I said, "We shall see".

We got into a big hall where all the form teachers were gathered and each parent or parents would proceed with their child to the located form teachers. In our case there was only me and my son because my wife could not make the trip. We had to wait in line because there was a family in front of us.

Our turn came and as me and my son came up, the form teacher gave us a good smile and greeted, "Nice to see you, Mr Yeo".

I replied, "Nice to see you too."

"Mr Yeo, I am afraid...(ahhhhh...how I hate that word) that Lucas (my son's name) just missed by 0.3% of the total average to get to the top class in the school next year."

My heart dropped. It sank. It bled. There was no heartbeat. I was in shock.

Don't get me wrong, he did do well accept for one subject, mandarin (chinese). The form teacher explain how she had tried her very best to get my son, Lucas into that top class but dispite her valiant efforts she just could not persuade the school to do so as the last seat was taken up by another boy who defeated my son by 0.3%.

I turned and looked at my son. He turned and looked at me and he probably knew what he had just missed. I said to my son softly, "Now you know the difference between winning and losing...it is just that little difference".

The rest of the conversation with the form teacher was like blank. I just could not be registered. I did recall something the form teacher mention that my son, Lucas will be a shining star next year because of lesser competition. That is all I remembered after that. All I wanted to do then is to get back home quick and give my son one of most important motivational talks.

The walk back home seems like forever. I was in my own world and my son in his own world. We hardly spoke a word. We got home and I signalled my son to take a seat while I get ready to pull out one of my thunderous motivational speeches. From the look of my son's face after that, I did not disappoint. His head was bowed and cheeks were watered with tears. I did not scold him but I gave him a perspective of wheer he had gone wrong and what he had missed out on.

I told him if he had put in his darndest effort in doing and yet he missed the mark I would say that he tried his best. I would never blame him for the effort he gave. But when you did not put in any effort and you missed your mark, you deserve what you get. I shared with him about what you sow you shall reap. I talk about attitude and how he did not show me that he had the right attitude when approaching his studies. He just completely sitched off this time round and I told him that part of the blame I will accept for trusting him to do a good job where I should have just taken control of him.

The 0.3% just got the better of me. I just could not take it especially when you lose to somebody by such a small margin. I told my son if his attitude had been 20% better, he would have gotten to the top class which was what he wanted all the while. I reiterated again about the difference between winning and losing. It is always by small margins.

My son's experience is a classic example of this. How Olympians win their Gold medals and how Champions comes about is by putting in that extra effort into what they WANT and BELIEVE in. That is why the old cliche of "There can be only one". There is only one winner. Bill Shankly, one of the greatest Football Manager of all time had this to say,

"First is First. Second is nothing".

Tiger Wood's did not become a great Champion by just giving lip serivce of saying he wanted to be great. He started off by hitting 3000 golf balls everyday. Look at where he is now, winning championships after championships. He paid the price. There is no short-cut to Success. You just got to pay the price.

At the end of my talk, I was exhasuted. It was a hour talk but I made it so emotional that I have to say this was my most satisfying talk as a professional speaker. And my audience is only my son, Lucas. Did my 8 year old son get the meaninig? You bet he did, I hope you do too.

Calvin Yeo
Principal Trainer & Consultant
"Mind Of Champions"
LUCARELA
Singapore
http://www.thewheelofwealth.com
16 Nov 2006

Success - Planning The Key to Achieving Your Goals

If you want to be successful you need to plan for it. If you do it will more than likely happen, if you don't chances are luck will not come your way.

Fact is most people don't know how to plan properly and they don't ever know how to execute it for success and this is what this article is about.

Let's find out what makes a good plan,

1. Be Realistic
As the old proverb goes "each journey begins with one simple step" and this is true when starting out on the road to success. Make your initial goals realistic and achievable.

2. Decide exactly what your goals are and how to achieve them
You of course need to decide exactly what you want to achieve and how you are going to do it, in simple set steps. Leading on from the above match each goal with an exact plan on how to get to short term goals that ultimately will lead to your long term goal.

3. Do Not put anything off
Have you ever wondered why some people seem to achieve an incredible amount in a short time and always seem to be dynamic and organized? Well, it's not that there smarter than you but they know that to be succesful you don't put anything off. If you take action as quickly as possible and do tasks as soon as they occur, you will have a clearer mind and be able to focus better. Even if the task is unpleasant, you know you have to do it sometime, so get rid of it and forget about it.

4. Don't Multi Task
Whatever goal you are trying to achieve don't multi task to much and this leads on from point 3.
If you are studying for a degree, have set times where that is all you do.
Don't try and study, take calls, or be writing out a utility bill at the same time!
If you focus on one task and give it your full concentration your time will be much better spent.

5. Reward yourself along the way
On your goals as you reach them treat yourself. It can be anything you like, but if you have achieved something spend some money on yourself, or spend quality time doing things you really enjoy that keep you motivated.

6. Assess your progress
After each short term goal achieved assess your progress. If you are finding your plan is a little to easy make it a bit harder and vice versa. Your plan should be comfortable but not to comfortable.

7. Dream a bit
Visualise what it will be like when you achieve the success you desire and try and read a few motivational books on the subject to keep you focused and motivated. The real key to planning for success is for it to be realistic in your goals so you don't get de motivated, or start to fail.

You also need to keep a fresh mind and take decisive action on all tasks, not just in your plan for success but in other areas of life that can distract you. Finally, always remember do not multi task to much, allocate time for tasks and do only them and always try and be focused on one thing only. The task will then be achieved much quicker and your ultimate goal of success will come sooner than you think.

By:
Sacha Tarkovsky
16 Nov 2006

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