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Women are from Where?

A remote control in the hands of a woman is a dangerous thing, especially when it's her man she's trying to change.

The other night, after throwing the kids outside and putting the animals to bed (we discovered our mistake the next morning), my wife and I settled in for a quiet evening alone. We don't get much time to ourselves anymore, what with work and the constant demands for attention from a two-year-old who thinks electrical outlets are convenient, piggy bank ATMs and a ten-year-old who wants to forego middle school to become a Spice Girl. So, when we get more than five minutes alone, it's a big deal. A very big deal.

My wife (the brains of the outfit) suggested that we make a cup of hot chocolate and watch TV. In the old days, a little hanky-panky would have been thrown into the mix, but when you've been married as long as we have and your time together is limited, you've got to set priorities. Hanky-panky? Hot chocolate and TV? When she held up a bag of miniature marshmallows, it became a no brainer. Hey, I like hanky-panky as much as the next guy, but those little marshmallows were screaming my name.

The first sign that my wife had ulterior motives came when she picked up her cup and left me standing alone in the kitchen. Granted, it was taking me awhile to fit that entire bag of little marshmallows in my cup, but ordinarily she'd wait for me. It was when I finally set my cup on the table that separates our matching recliners that I discovered her plan: I reached for the remote control, but it wasn't there. The remote, MY REMOTE, was clutched in my loving wife's right hand. Her plan was suddenly crystal clear. She was going to make me watch something she thought I needed to see. Silently, I asked God to have mercy on my soul. He did not listen.

"I'll flip," I said, holding out a hand and giving her a pitiful smile.

"I'll do it," she said, using the same sweet tone I'm sure Ted Bundy used to lure in his victims. When she stopped on a channel and slid the remote under her chair cushion, I knew all hope was gone. "Oh, this show should be good! It's about relationships, with that 'Women Are From Venus' guy."

"What Women are from Venus?" I asked hopefully. "Are these women a hundred feet tall? Are they wearing Spandex and knee boots? Is Pamela Anderson in this?"

"No, dummy, 'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.' It's a book about relationships," she said, giving me THE LOOK. "It tells couples how to make their relationships stronger."

"I bet the first thing the books says is: Give your man back the remote."

She didn't buy it. So, for the next sixty minutes I was subjected to modern love in the infomercial age. The guy responsible for this wasted hour of my life is one John Gray, the writer of this blatantly-misnamed, albeit wildly-successful book that I'm pretty sure no man has ever read without coercion from his mate. Gray was the moderator of the show, giving five couples advice on how to fix what had gone wrong with their relationships.

One woman in particular really needed a good kick in the emotional behind. She complained that her husband gave her a new BMW for their anniversary when all she really wanted was a carriage ride through the park. Excuse me? Maybe she can catch a carriage ride back to the mothership because I definitely think Venus is calling this gal home. If Gray had based his book on women like this, he would have called it, "Men Are From Earth and Nobody Knows Where The Hell Women Are From or What They Want."

As I was making fun of this show (hey, it's what I do) my wife started telling me about another book her unmarried girlfriends had been telling her about. This piece of literary toilet paper is entitled: "The Rules: Time Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right."

"So what are the rules for nabbing Mr. Right?" I asked. "No burping in front of his mama? Don't leave the toilet seat down? Don't make him watch stupid TV shows about relationships when Matlock is on?"

She said, "The Rules say a woman should play hard to get. Don't call a man back when he calls you, make him ask you at least three times before agreeing on a first date, don't sleep with him until he has given you a ring, that sort of thing."

"Who came up with these rules?" I asked, knowing that it was not a guy.

"Two women," my wife answered. "I don't know their names."

"These two women, they married?" I asked.

"I don't think so."

"SURPRISE! Now give me back the remote before I call my attorney!"

After the show was over, she asked, "So, did you learn anything that might make our relationship better?"

"Yes I did," I answered honestly. "I learned that the next time you try to entice me with hot chocolate and little marshmallows, I'd be better off settling for a little hanky-panky!"

Tim Knox
30 Nov 2006

From "Small Business Q&A" With Tim Knox Tim Knox is a nationally-known entrepreneur, author, speaker, and radio show host. Tim has helped hundreds of entrepreneurs realize their business dreams. To learn more please visit

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Correlating Menopause and Osteoporosis

Menopause occurs when there is not enough supply of estrogen in the body. With the absence of this important hormone in a womanís body, there are lot of adjustments to be done and changes to prepare for.

Studies show that the loss of estrogens accelerates bone loss in the span of five to eight years. One of the most common areas affected by the loss of estrogen in the body is the skeletal system-specifically the bones that lead to osteoporosis. Osteoporosis, as defined, pertains to the thinning of the bones. As the bones become thinner and thinner, it becomes weaker and breaks more easily. The bones that are often affected include those of the spine, wrists, and hips.


As women grow older and older, risks of having osteoporosis becomes greater. Studies show that aside from aging, more and more women and men suffer become prone to osteoporosis especially if he/she has a family history of osteoporosis, fair skinned like blonds and red heads, engage in low calcium diet, lives a sedentary or physically inactive, underweight, obese, smokers and those with serious illness and disease.

In order to avoid, or at least, lessen the burden of having osteoporosis, here are some recommended lifestyle changes that you can do by yourself.

1. Have enough calcium in your body. In order to reduce the risk of osteoporosis, men women alike should start taking about 1,000 mg of calcium every day that is equals to about three serves of dairy food. Calcium is naturally found in various foods and can also be added in powder form. Having enough calcium supply in your diet will ensure strengthened bones. Aside from eating foods rich in calcium, taking in calcium tablets can also support your calcium supply. For those who are drinking calcium to avoid further osteoporic problem, bear in mind that you should reach a total daily intake of 1,000 milligrams daily before menopause and 1,500 milligrams daily after menopause.

2. Physical activity is quite crucial to avoid further complications of osteoporosis. Recent studies show that people with or without osteoporosis can also benefit from spontaneous physical activity. Doing regular exercises like walking throughout your life can help in the reduction of osteoporosis risks because it reduces the rate of bone loss while protecting the remaining bone tissues. Experts say that the required minimum exercise for people who are suffering with osteoporosis is still unknown, but physical activity of 15 to 60 minutes at least thrice a week in highly recommended. Here are some of the general recommendations for exercise approved by most experts.

- Make sure that you have visited your doctor or health care provider before you start any exercise program.

- If you are already suffering from osteoporosis, avoid high impact activities or those exercise requiring sudden and forceful movements.

- Light weight-bearing exercises such as walking, dancing, and weight training are generally recommended.

- Make sure that you can sustain the frequency of your physical activity.

- Take strength training at least once or twice a week to prepare your body to more strenuous physical activities.

- Choose exercises that flexibility exercises or stretching.

- No matter how you love the water, avoid swimming because itís not a weight bearing exercise. The buoyancy of the water will only counteract the effects of gravity and will be more difficult for you to maintain your balance.

- Choose exercises that will help you reduce bone loss, improve your muscle strength, balance, and fitness so the incidence of falls and fractures will be lessened.

Indeed, there is no easy way to address osteoporosis. Being a complex condition involving hormonal, lifestyle, nutritional, and environmental factors, osteoporosis can only be cured through proper exercise, diet, and supplements. Aside from these, medical preventions and treatments such as hormone therapy (HT), Bisphosphonates, selective oestrogen receptor modulators (SERMs), potential therapies like Tibolone (Livial) and parathyroid hormone are available today.

Dr Nathalie Fiset
02 Dec 2006

Dr Nathalie Fiset is a family doctor and a certified hypnotherapist. For more information go to: or